


If You're Going Through Hell

by AsagiStilinski



Series: Yuri!!! Down Under [5]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Australia, Alternate Universe - Veterinarians, Anxiety, Anxiety Disorder, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Character's Name Spelled as Yuri, Dom Katsuki Yuuri, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Phichit Chulanont/Christophe Giacometti, Protective Katsuki Yuuri, Sub Victor Nikiforov, Veterinarian Victor Nikiforov, Wildlife Educator Katsuki Yuuri, Yuri Plisetsky Being Yuri Plisetsky, Yuri Plisetsky Being an Asshole, Zoo, implied dom Katsuki Yuuri, implied sub Victor Nikiforov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:01:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23255851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsagiStilinski/pseuds/AsagiStilinski
Summary: Viktor was lucky to find Yuri, who understood him before he even understood himself, who had never once called his coping mechanisms into question, who cared for and supported him even when Viktor felt like he was at his worst....But not everyone was so understanding, a lesson Viktor is about to learn the hard way when he meets the other Yuri who works at the zoo
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Phichit Chulanont/Christophe Giacometti
Series: Yuri!!! Down Under [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1638880
Comments: 4
Kudos: 43





	If You're Going Through Hell

**Author's Note:**

> Edited by Tae <3
> 
> Another peice for "Yuri!!! Down Under", a bit more of a serious one this time around, as YDU is originally about Viktor's path to recovering from trauma :) If you'd like to learn more about this verse, please visit our Tumblr for art, headcanons, and more! https://madaliceproductions.tumblr.com/

"Eggs hatch after about eighty days. Now, if you wanna get the sex of a crocodile—"

"Well, no, but what you do in your own time is your business."

"Alright, cut." Yuri wasn’t pleased as the camera lowered, Phichit laughing enthusiastically behind it. "To be fair, Yuri, you said the word 'sex'. This is really more your fault than his."

"Do you really wanna talk about 'fault', Mr. Cancelled-The-Last-Three-Takes?" Yuri teased, eyebrows raised.

"Perhaps we should take a lunch break, _zolotse_. You know the ferrets can get rowdy when they're hungry. I take it the same applies here." Viktor smirked.

"I hope you're not implying that being compared to your darling ferrets is an insult, _cheri_. It's nothing short of a pleasure." Chris winked and blew Viktor a kiss.

"Well, little Chris did try to follow me into the shower again this morning, so... I can see why you would enjoy the comparison."

"Viktor's right." Yuri sighed, stepping away from the enclosure as Phichit turned the camera off. "I think a food break is best. Who wants what? I'm taking orders."

"Funny, I thought Viktor was the one in that role," Chris snickered.

Yuri rolled his eyes, cheeks puffing a little, but Viktor wasn't actually offended by it—if anything, he was amused. "I guess my master is giving me some time off for good behavior." Viktor wrapped an arm around Yuri's waist and kissed his cheek, successfully deflating the brunette.

"You two are so cute, it's almost sickening," Chris accused playfully, making a point to pull Phichit into for a kiss as he did so.

"Says the original rom-com gays. I still can't believe you two worked out after how you met."

Viktor quirked an eyebrow at Yuri, unfamiliar with the story, but figured he would just ask later. Maybe over lunch.

"Yep. Caught 'im, tagged 'im. Definitely didn't release him back into the wild," Phichit giggled.

Chris smirked. "Oh, cheri. Is that your way of calling me an animal?"

"Alright, cobbers. We're leaving, so if you want food—"

"Oh, Yuri!"

Yuri glanced over his shoulder, smiling as Mila hurried towards him. "Hey, Mila. What's going on?"

"Mari is looking for you. She wanted to talk to you about filming the parrots."

"O ... Well, we were about to break for lunch."

"I'll get the food, _zolotse_ ," Viktor offered.

"You sure?"

"Of course. I know my way around by now. I won't get lost. Just go ahead and join us after."

Yuri hesitated for a moment, then nodded and leaned up to kiss Viktor's cheek. "Alright then, love. I'll be back in a split."

Viktor nodded and waved as Mila tugged Yuri off in the direction of wherever Mari was before turning back to Phichit and Chris.

"I'll take a veggie pizza, _mon cher_."

"I'm good with anything. Just surprise me. Chris and I are going to see the new python, and then we'll meet you in the staff break room?"

"Alright, sounds like a plan." Viktor saw them off before making his way towards the food court. They could just eat where they were filming, but Phichit was sensitive about his camera equipment and insisted it be safely tucked away when not in use, which Viktor supposed he could understand.

At least he was confident making his way through the absolute mecha of the zoo now. Finally, after several months of coming to the zoo regularly, he was getting the hang of navigation. Yuri would be proud. It wasn't often that he was there alone, usually glued to Yuri's side or at least accompanied by one of Yuri's friends or family members who wanted to get to know him. It wasn't unpleasant, though. The animals and the crowds of laughing, happy people were becoming familiar. The crowds didn't even bother him anymore, nor did talking to strangers.

Viktor had never been the best with people, even before the incident last spring. He was most comfortable with animals, and though he had a great "fake it till you make it" approach to dealing with humans so that most people didn't notice his discomfort, it was draining and uncomfortable to put up with them for long. He found a niche here at the zoo, though, with Yuri's friends and family, who were all so kind and gentle-spirited, so sweet-natured and easy to talk to, never crowding him or pushing him, but always flocking around him as if he were already one of their own.

It was the most unusual thing. Viktor never really made friends while on his own, and everywhere he had traveled, it was challenging to adjust to from a social standpoint. Either he was too small a fish in too big a pond or too big a fish in too small a pond. People either didn't give him the time of day or were too intimidated by him to bother getting close to him. But not here. Not with Yuri. His first time at the zoo resulted in getting a hug from both of Yuri's parents, and the first time he met Mila earned the same experience.

He wondered if it was an Australian thing...

"Hey, Nikiforov!" Pausing mid-stride, Viktor turned towards the unfamiliar voice, smiling politely at a young, blonde Russian, about a foot shorter than Viktor with green eyes and an irritated expression. "Do you know who I am?"

"I think so. You're the other Yuri, right? The new vet?"

The fact that he knew who the blonde was seemed to unnerve him a little, but it didn't stop him from stomping forward and cornering Viktor between himself and the wall behind them, glaring daggers at the silver-haired man.

"Yuri Plisetsky," he growled.

"Alright... Yuri Plisetsky. Do we know each other?" Viktor couldn't imagine why else the blonde would be so aggressive with him. Surely he didn't just meet people this way.

"You wish," Yuri snipped. "I've got a question for you."

"A-Ah, alright?"

"Is he worth it?"

"Is... who worth... what?"

As Viktor's confusion rose, so did Yuri's anger. The blonde was practically growling. "Yuri Katsuki! Was he worth it?! Huh?! Abandoning your career, your reputation, your pride for a taste of Australian tail?!"

"I didn't abandon anything for Yuri." Viktor frowned, shifting his stance and crossing his arms defensively. "And least of all for sex. Yuri and I were just friends when I moved here, not that it's any of your business or that it would matter either way. But we didn't begin a romantic relationship until a few months ago."

"Then, why?" Yuri sneered. "Why would you give up everything to chase him here?!"

"I told you. I didn't give anything up, and I didn't chase him, either. Yuri invited me to come here with him, to be his vet—"

"You mean his pet moron?" the blonde growled. "Don't you have any pride left? Doesn't it humiliate you the way he treats you? And on fucking camera?!"

"What are you talking about? Yuri treats me wonderfully." Viktor took a step forward or at least tried to, but the blonde wouldn't move.

"He treats you like an idiot! Always explaining things like you don't already know them. Pretending to teach you shit even a six-year-old should know. And you fucking encourage it! You used to be something great, you know. You used to be someone for people to admire. Now you're just some sad fucking lapdog willing to parade around on a leash, and for what? So he'll pat your head and call you a good boy?"

"That's not what it's like!" Viktor insisted, dodging past Yuri and giving a quick scan around the area. By some sheer dumb luck, no one seemed to have noticed his outburst. No one was watching. He was okay. He'd be okay. He just... he just needed to get out of this situation and—

"Then you should know that's what it looks like. It looks like you traded your honor and status as a brilliant doctor, an accomplished prodigy, a gay man from Russia who actually made something of himself, for the position of some instafamous-wannabe's _pet_. You might want to fix that."

"I don't care what people think of me," Viktor whispered, his nails pressing into his palms, arms wrapped around his chest again. "My life and my choices are no one's business but my own."

"They become the business of others when you put them on camera," Yuri argued, taking a step closer. "I really don't know what's sadder, though,” he hissed. “The fact that you don't know how much of a fool you look like, or the fact that you don't care." Then the blonde turned and walked away. 

Viktor exhaled, his hands shaking. Any confidence he had before was gone, replaced with the disturbing sensation of one single thought— He's right.

~+~

"Possum! There you are!" Viktor had been in something of a fog since his confrontation with the Russian Yuri. He went through the motions of things without paying attention to any of it, so when Yuri called out to him, it brought him back to awareness. At least a little. "Mari's going to guest on the show for the parrot episode next week. Isn't that great?" Yuri grinned and wrapped his arms around Viktor in a tight hug the moment he was close enough.

"It's wonderful, zolotse," he replied softly, shifting the bags of food to one hand so he could return the embrace with a single arm.

"What's the matter?" Yuri frowned, instantly pulling back. "Did something happen?"

"No. Why do you ask?" Even by Viktor's own ears, he knew he wasn't very convincing, but he didn't have many choices by this point.

"Viktor... What happened, love?" Yuri asked with concern, taking one of the bags from his boyfriend and pulling him off to a more secluded area so that they could have a bit more privacy to speak.

"Nothing. It's nothing."

Yuri's expression told Viktor exactly how little he believed that. "Viktor, what happened?" he repeated, his voice even softer than before. He reached up to gently cup Viktor's face.

And Viktor… He couldn't handle that. He took a shaky breath and carefully pulled Yuri's hand away, curling his fingers around it as he stared into Yuri's eyes. "I... got to thinking. Yuri, your show is getting quite popular. People really enjoy you, you know. And... I'm starting to get better, with my... my issues... so I was thinking perhaps..." He didn't want to say it, but he needed to. He wanted to throw himself into Yuri's arms and avoid the pain that was snaking through his veins like cobra venom, but it wasn't fair to either of them to dodge the issue, so he swallowed, squeezed Yuri's hands a little tighter. "Let's end this."

For a moment, everything was quiet. Then slowly, Yuri's lips pressed into a thin line, his eyes narrowing as he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, hugging him tightly. "Oh, sweetheart. What happened, love? What's ailing you so much that you're trying to fight me?"

"I... I'm not... trying to fight you?" Where had Yuri gotten that idea? Nothing he said had seemed confrontational, had it?

"Sure you are. I mean, maybe you're not puttin' up your fists but... this thing between us, this bond we have, it's so natural, and it fits you perfectly. You're usually so good at leaning into it and letting me help you, letting me take care of you. Now you're fighting it, and I want to know why. You were perfectly content fifteen minutes ago, so what happened to change that?"

Viktor’s heart constricted and his stomach churned. His eyes stung, and he just wanted to wrap himself in Yuri's warmth forever. He wanted to feel safe like he always did with Yuri. He wanted to take everything Yuri gave him... and couldn't resist any longer. Viktor wrapped his arms gently around his boyfriend's back and rested his head against Yuri's shoulder.

"How long have you been in the public eye, Yuri?"

"How long? …Well, I guess that depends on how you define 'public'. A few years minimum. What does have to do with anything, though, love?"

Viktor gave a vague shrug, but a single glance at Yuri's concerned expression had him edging off of the idea of ignoring the question completely. "What if you did something that made people upset? People who looked up to you. What if... what if some part of you was hurting your own cause?"

Yuri eyebrows knitted together in consideration. "Well... I sort of already am. Bisexuality still isn't very accepted in the world, especially in more conservative places like Japan. Even here in Oz, you get your fair share of galahs. I've... been told before that being so open and explicit about my sexuality would hurt my cause, that people won't watch me, that they'll tune out and turn me off, refuse to listen... I was out before it was even legal in Oz to marry whoever I wanted, so... I've been warned."

"But you're still being open about it," Viktor said softly.

"Yeah, because I can't slit the throat of one cause on the off chance it'll benefit another. My sexuality is part of me. It's who I am. I can't... sell that part of me off. It's just not who I am. I'll do my job regardless of how many people listen, and without meaning to, I've sorta become... a symbol... I guess? To an entirely different group, too. A lot of bi people have thanked me for just being who I am, which I still find kinda weird. I'm not doing anything so different or spectacular, but... whatever helps."

Viktor hung his head, looking at the ground. "But... what if I already screwed that up?"

"Screwed what up? Sweetheart, you've gotta tell me what's going on if you want me to help." Yuri took his hand, giving it a light squeeze. 

Viktor let out an unsteady breath. "I spoke with the other Yuri. He... said that I… caused damage by dropping off the face of the earth and 'discarding' my career the way I did... That people who looked up to me as a gay man from Russia who actually did something with his life... they don't... I ruined that..."

For a moment, Yuri looked as if his heart was breaking before his expression steeled, and he shook his head, cupping Viktor's face. "You haven't ruined a damn thing, love."

"Yes, I have—"

"No, you haven't. It's not your job to be some symbol for people to follow. If you become one, and if that's a status you want to maintain, then that's another story, but you never went into things looking to be in the public eye. You just wanted to help animals and the fact that things happened the way they did... Look, it ain't on you to be everybody's idol. If people look up to you, then that's great, but don't go cutting off your own limbs because you're worried about disappointing people who may or may not be watching. And if you do want to be a symbol for something, then I say it's even more important for you to keep doing what you're doing."

"How... is that exactly?"

"You've been through trauma, sweetheart. You've been through something that hurt you, that you never thought you'd recover from, and look at you! My beauty, you're doing so well. So much better than you ever thought you'd be. Sure, it isn't exactly what you were doing before, but the goal you're accomplishing is the same—helping animals. And for as many Yuri Plisetskys are out there doubting you, there's a hundred other people who have had trauma, too, or who have minds that don't wanna cooperate with them half the time. People who have as much of a hard time imagining they'll get through what they're goin' through as I'm sure all the gay Russian boys are havin'. They need to see somebody who's overcome pain and works with a mind that still puts him through the wringer on bad days. They need to see there's a light at the end of that tunnel, and that there's nothing wrong with taking a different path to achieve the same goal, even if it’s not the path people think you should take. They need to see there's nothing wrong with asking for help, or with changing your lifestyle to something that makes you healthier, or with having a coping mechanism that not everybody understands. You _can_ be that for them, Viktor, but you don't _have_ to be."

"I... I want to be," Viktor said softly, wrapping his arms around Yuri and giving him a tight hug. "Thank you, zolotse, for helping me see the light for what must be the billionth time at this point."

"It's no drama, love." Yuri hugged him in return before pulling back, making sure that he had Viktor's attention. "I mean it, though. This is not something you have to do. I'll support you no matter what decision you make. If you want to keep going as things are or change something or change a bunch of things... Whatever you want, love. Except if you want to do something that could get you hurt in the end."

"I know." Viktor smiled, taking Yuri's hand and kissing his fingers. "You'll protect me, even if it's from myself. I trusted you with that months ago, Yuri. I'm not going to change my mind about it or fight you on it. You've gotten me this far, haven't you? Why would I not trust you to take me even further?"

Yuri's expression warmed, and this time, he was the one to initiate the hug.

Everything seemed to be back to normal now, with Viktor's more cheerful attitude returning and their day getting back on track, but Yuri still couldn't help feeling anxious, like there was more to all of this than he realized.

Like things were just getting started...


End file.
